Sliding past the pain,
I had nothing to gain.
To crib was not my priority,
to myself was my loyalty.
I tried this,
I tried that.
But it wasn’t where my heart was.
Why did I try to resemble them,
When they just misguided my path.
But now its not of concern,
its time to learn.
Abandoning the archaic ship,
I will embark on a new journey.
A Journey of hope.
Archive for the ‘Diary Entry’ Category
you fall. you rise. those are the extremes. what about the greys? I hate them. the greys confuse you. they put a limitation to your understanding. your possiblities. they bind you.i hate that the most. when you fail/succeed. you have a clear vision or no vision. but when these bloody greys arrive, you are in haze. limited visiblity. you scare to take the next step wondering where it might fall. its a friggin wild forest out there! you dont wanna step on a snake or wake a bear. i dont want to fail. i’ve failed enuf. more than i ever imagined. its time to rise, and rise high.
Thunderstorm is a storm with thunder and lightning followed by rain. This is how we know thunderstorm. But have you ever given a thought that life also have its own thunderstorms. Some people who are philosophical may have related their or others life to it. Its just another analogy with nature. If you pay small attention, every minute detail of our life has a strikingly similar behavior with nature. Our folk tales gives us some similar analogies. The most famous analogy is of day and night. After every night there is a day. The most trending these days is from GOT (Games of Thrones) which says “Winter is Coming”, just another way to say that ‘hard times lies ahead.’
So thunderstorm is what i chose to write on. This feature of nature intrigues me because it has multiple faces. Every individual can interpret in a different way. I would provide…
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Imagine a room where you enter, you find a blank open book and pen to write. You are to asked write whatever you want to. Give it a thought , what will you write. Going blank? Dont know what to write.Now consider the room as a person’s world where you enter & the book as the life of the person. Getting the analogy?
When you don’t know what to write (except a few pep[;e who always have something to say or learn or tell) then how do we become an epoch in ones life. The time spent with a person in his/her life, the interaction, the talks, every second makes our presence an episode .You might be the main character of that lesson or just characters who play their part, but some characters live through all the chapters and become crucial figures to build up an interesting book.
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I was sitting on a curb in an empty parking lot, smoking cigarettes and wondering what life was. I had no idea what else to do. It just seemed right. I felt like I was in a movie, like there should have been melancholy music floating in the background. It’s ironic, though. I felt like I had to suck in dirty, life-threatening smoke to understand life’s meaning. I had to lose a few minutes to make sense of it all.
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I had a very strange experience a few days ago. I was walking along the canal in Saltaire, about a mile from where I live. A man and a woman were walking towards me along the towpath, and as they passed me, the man was saying ‘… what it was, is that he blows bubbles and then photographs them...’ That’s all I heard. Blowing bubbles and photographing them is what I do! I have had some coverage in the national and international press for photographing bubbles, and I had been photographing bubbles in a nearby woodland just a couple of days before.
So I think there’s a really good chance that they were talking about me. They might have been talking about someone else, but I think it all points in my direction. They weren’t looking at me at all, so I think I just heard them…
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Its cold. Its winter. Freezing all around an emptiness has set in. A new battle has emerged. A new enemy has surfaced. The emotion has faded away like the green off trees. In this silence, the chaos is setting in. Time to prepare the heart for it. I have to win.
Tags: absence, batman, cry, faith, fear, hope, pain, presence, rise, soul
its not that the absence of fear that makes you courageous. its the presence of the will to go beyond that fear is courage. the human soul is an incomplete being. it needs a connecting piece to solve the mystery of life. well in most cases. the path of life is to be tread alone. the hardest parts for sure. but there comes a patch in this fruitful life which kills you a little. which keeps you away from fellow beings. a detached soul, a laughing pain, a jolly heartache. we cry, we smile, we laugh, we shout. all in the darkness of the inner depths. a light seems a blinding agent. a hope seems like a crushing ram. its not the absence of sorrow that keeps you happy, its the presence of the faith that things will get right keeps the smile intact. you fall, you rise, you grow, you learn, then you fly. its not the presence of wings that will take you higher, its the absence of thoughts that chain you the ground.
there are situations in life you feel like the case of the glass half full or half empty. there is s duality the exists in mind which does not let you see you things as they are. but creates an illusion of a wrecked imagery of your thoughts. it twists your mind in such a way, you are left with puzzled form of everything that surrounds you. it pushes you to the point of desperation that you are ready to leave each aspect in the way it is and run away. they haunt you. they kill your sleep. your peace. and they laugh in the nothingness of your thoughts. they throw you to the very depths you rose from. you hunt for peace. you hunt for stability on like you are on the razors edge. all that is left is to stretch out yourself. those arms to the sky and plead. it reduce yourself to the nothingness of ashes and become hollow. empty all the pain. all those tears. burn yourself down. then only you can rise. like the phoenix.
The moment. that feeling. The stains of blood. It still overwhelms, cuts me deeper. gives nightmares. few moments just become rock solid inside you. the are like parasites. eating you each time they surface your mind. the feel does not go. the soul does not leave the thought. that failure, it haunts. but also it strenghtens the knight, hardens the fighting spirit. keeps the dark knight on path.